First we have to determine to which degree characteristics are inherited. In 1990 of the “Human Genome Project” started, which aimed to map the complete sequence of human DNA. One decade later the published the first draft “human book of life”. At that time they believed that genes were the key to understand all the mysteries of human existence – criminality, fidelity, political persuasion, religious belief, etc.. In recent years, however, this faith in the power of genes is strongly reduced. Today, few scientists believe that there is a simple “gene for” anything. Almost all inherited features or traits are the products of complex interactions of numerous genes. However, the fact that there is no one genetic trigger doesn’t mean that genes have no influence at all.
Nowadays we know that genes create potentials of characteristics. Whether or not they are activated and grow to their full potential, depends on the environment we grow up in. Actually it’s a two-way street, our genes will slightly alter in order to survive in a particular environment. Especially in the first 7 years are important in which potentials are unlocked and stimulated. The two main mechanisms that unlock potentials are repetition and major events, positive or negative. When a potential is unlocked, it will change the current mindset into a new one that is capable of dealing with the situation.
Who we appear to be a product of both nature and nurture, and nothing else. You are shaped by forces beyond yourself and did not choose what to become. (This gives great responsibility to all of us because all of us are doing the shaping.) So this is how we became this person, but that doesn’t mean that we have to be this person. As stated before, repetition and major events are capable to change our mindset. Becoming aware of something will alter our perspective and opens the door to change.
Before you think about change, consider these steps. The first step is to acknowledge that you are the most important person to yourself and only responsible for your own actions. This sounds very selfish, but to be part of a community means to be of value to this community. When you’re not healthy or in a bad condition (physical or mental) you cannot perform that task. The second step is, understand that helping others means teaching them to help themselves and not to take over there work/burdens. You are not responsible for the choices those people made and certainly not for the consequences. Feeling emphatic and try to help is good, but making their problems yours is not. If you do that they will become dependent on you and get even weaker. The third step is, let go of what you can’t (or is unwilling) to change. It will make you angry, get you frustrated, drains all your energy and makes you vulnerable for physical and mental issues; strong and often experienced emotions are the basis of many diseases.
So, who do you want to become? I hope you answer: “is a better version of myself”. Meaning reconsider your responsibilities, lose unfunded fears, stop looking for obstacles, focus on possibilities and embrace life with all potential (we now know) you have. You’re a unique beautiful human being just the way you are, no matter what others say (or you expect them thinking about you). Be honest to yourselves and others, without hurting yourselves or others. (see natural communication) The world is there for you to do whatever you like as long as you respect others and your intentions are sincere. Keep an open mind and try to experience obstacles in life as the learning moments they are.
I see you!